Snappy comebacks

I need help coming up with snappy comebacks to the comments I so often hear, still, about my age and appearance. There has to be a more productive response than my usual, which is to smile and silently fume. A faculty member in another department whom I respect and admire suggested that these remarks can be interpreted as compliments. She may be right, at least part of the time, but it still fries me because students don't say such things to male instructors.

Here are some of the most common:

• "Are you old enough to be a professor?"


• "You're so young."


• "You're really short!"


• "What class are you taking?"


• "Mrs. Strong..." (everyone at my instution who has a Ph.D. is addressed as Dr.)

This has to be a cultural thing because it never happened at Davis, and since it never happened I am completely unprepared and still a little shocked whenever it comes up. One student whom I adore and who was just accepted into a doctoral program gave me the nickname "Pocket Doc: World's Smallest Professor." So it's not as though only creeps make commentary.

I started going on the offense with the Mrs. Strong issue by telling students on the first day of class that I don't go by Mrs. Strong. However, I feel kind of bitchy doing this. And I hate that I feel that way. And I hate having to do it.

Here are some photos from my summer travels: Berlin in May (wearing Jenni's scarf), the Mark Twain House in July, and Vecchito's Italian Ice with my mom post-zipline.